[Freedom Song]

By FATIMAH ASGHAR 

what does it mean, to be free? i sip coke at my phuppos, azaadi
on the walls of the university, free kashmir sprawled, azaadi

on my body. when i walk the streets of lahore men stare.
can i write the poem that makes me free, that brings azaadi

to my lips? i say i want to drink from its waters, but i know
what it means to be human & dumb, to pray & when azaadi

comes to shun, to judge & say not like this. control, a bitch
deeply un-free, that sticks me in my own mind, azaadi

i plead, come help free me from me. what an overworked god
the policemen’s gun turning towards the sand, the ocean’s azaadi

crashing blue wave after blue into the fishing boat, thieving
life from its water. everything is a freedom song, i hear azaadi

in the wind & in the flood, in the sparkle of the sun on a child’s
arm. it calls to me. & i turn my back when azaadi

isn’t convenient. in my bed, i dream of a baby with my love’s
face & my fingers, biologically impossible. azaadi  

could be a good name for a kid, i muse, us gays dreaming farther
into the future than we’re allowed. our pretend kid, azaadi

in a way that dances like a ghost at the edge of my dream.
i’m a shadow girl, born to someone else’s longing. azaadi

please, my grandfather made his boys promise not to return
to kashmir until it’s free, our house ours again & azaadi

tolled in the street. we’ve been waiting a long time. return. our
right. they say. maybe. it slips. water through my fingers. azaadi.

what’s a dream, & what’s awake? everything a maze & another maze.
& you, fatimah, pray a way. in the poems, on your lips, to every god: azaadi

[Purchase Issue 31 here.]

Fatimah Asghar is a poet, filmmaker, educator, and performer whose work includes an Emmy-nominated web series, a National Book Award longlisted book of fiction, and a critically acclaimed book of poetry. They served as the co-producer and writer of “Time and Again” for Ms. Marvel on Disney+.