Why I Am Not an Engineer

By ROBERT BEROLD

thanks, frank o’hara

I am not an engineer. but I studied
to be one. those days, the ’60s, we
went to varsity in shorts and long socks and
threw paper aeroplanes in class. chem.eng.
was a tough course. the theoreticians did well
but the real engineers, the guys who drank beers
and fixed their own cars, failed.
we did a lot of maths
and a lot of chemistry. then in 3rd year the maths
mated with the chemistry, generating monstrous equations,
which we had to solve.
what was insoluble was when
they took our class to modderfontein and sasolburg.
dressed in white coats and plastic hats, we looked at miles
of hissing pipes and bulging orange flames.
so I became a writer.
no, I first became confused.
I remember the day I fainted.
I thought, “I join the universe!” my knees gave way.
my head hit the concrete floor. my being
took off with heavy flapping into a sky
which kept on moving through another sky.

 

 

Robert Berold has published four collections of poetry, a memoir of a year spent in China, and a biography of the pioneering Lesotho farmer JJ Machobane.

Click here to purchase Issue 04

Why I Am Not an Engineer

Related Posts

Caroline M. Mar Headshot

Waters of Reclamation: Raychelle Heath Interviews Caroline M. Mar

CAROLINE M. MAR
That's a reconciliation that I'm often grappling with, which is about positionality. What am I responsible for? What's coming up for me; who am I in all of this? How can I be my authentic self and also how do I maybe take some responsibility?

October 2024 Poetry Feature: New Poems By Our Contributors

NATHANIEL PERRY
Words can contain their opposite, / pleasure at once a freedom and a ploy— / a garden something bound and original / where anything, but certain things, should thrive; / the difference between loving-kindness and loving / like the vowel shift from olive to alive.

Image of laundry hanging on a line.

Real Estate for the Blended Family (or What I Learned from Zillow)

ELIZABETH HAZEN
Sometimes I dream of gardens— // that same dirt they kick from their cleats could feed us, / grow something to sustain us. But it’s winter. // The ground is cold, and I dare not leave this room; / I want to want to fix this—to love them // after all—but in here I am safe.