By JOÃO PEDRO VALA

I

I really don’t want to be that guy but this doesn’t make any sense. I mean, maybe it does, you tell me. I don’t know you, we never went, let’s say, to Varadero together. Us with straw hats, drinking cocktails by the sea with salt on the rim of the glass, Buena Vista Social Club playing on the speakers, me doing crosswords and you playing sudoku, me to you, Stimulate with seven letters, us playing beach tennis (nowadays you guys are so posh, playing padel every Saturday morning with another couple, I’m always making fun of you because of that, you jerks), us getting to the airport, me walking so clumsily, because I’m always in a hurry, because I didn’t want to bother that nice lady holding a kid in her arms that was in front of me in the security line and now I got behind. I pick up my things, oh so gracelessly, I hold my backpack by one of its wings and start walking while I try to put on my belt, so that now I look like Quasimodo, if Quasimodo was a pervert, almost running because it’s time to go and ring that bell, with his pants falling down. You guys laugh at me, you say something I can’t quite understand, but I don’t get offended because, after all, we’re friends and that’s what friends do. I realize now that we are perfectly on time. I always am, we still have half an hour before boarding. So, you go get some chocolates for the flight while I go look at the books and CDs. I have a weird fascination with ugly covers and gas-station CDs. If we’re going to Varadero together, I think you should know that. Us going to a Cohen gig. Us drinking a pint at some bar in Alvalade. You guys to me, João. Me, Yes. You guys, It’s my father. I start to get emotional (I get emotional so easily), trying not to cry, because you’re not crying, even before realizing if what happened to your father was serious or not. I always liked your father very much.