There were other vehicles moving through the darkness behind us. But we didn’t notice. We forced our bodies into the brambles. We stood on our tiptoes, reached high above our heads like we were greedy for the stars that night. But we craved something attainable, we thought. We thought our need was for the wild summer blackberries. But we were foraging for another memory to sustain us through the evil days to come. And as we ate, the past ripened in clusters for us there among the thorns. I don’t know what my father thought about then, as we filled our bellies with those dark jewels, but I could almost taste my grandmother’s fruit cobbler. The blackberries, I remember, were perfect that night. They were plump and sweet. The juice didn’t stain our fingers or mouths. We ate and ate. How wonderful, how the earth offers such goodness to us without cost. And how awful.
Human systems exist in the mystery
always at the point of spilling
over green, over and over their present containers
of cities and grids and human perception
for what of entanglements, what of catastrophes
what of black holes, of soot from burnt timber
what of seashells, snails, urchins in the pavement
of ancient Greek settlements
Still bleeding from birth
I looked up from you, daughter
your grandma was
shouting at me
in our hospital room
and I thought, enough
of this childhood pain
(an emancipation never
complete in my heart)
the next weeks your little fist
dimpling my breast was a
mere aesthetic
as she had not blessed me
I could not let her go
For the cherries from
Saturday’s market I used
a sharp coffee spoon
each bright heart-organ
hoards the clit of the fruit
I stabbed and extracted
hurting my thumb
sometimes I couldn’t get
all the meat off
you fetched a stool
each fruit, gravely chosen
now came lifted and pillowed
on your soft palm
then you drank all the juice
in the discard bowl
it ran down your chin
and onto the floor
I drained all the juices
from under the flesh and
you guzzled that too
Such gusto my dear
with each breath I bless you
go go go
Farah Peterson‘s work has appeared in Alaska Quarterly Review, The Atlantic, The Best American Magazine Writing, The Florida Review, Ploughshares, and The Threepenny Review, and is forthcoming in the 2025 Pushcart Prize anthology. She is a law professor at the University of Chicago.
Sometimes this is my story, others it’s not. They used to bring it up at home whenever the room fell silent. They’d talk about her, about a city with a strange name, Sokołowsko. They’d talk about that evening.
There are still pages and pages with tracings of her hands sitting in a drawer. Some are just of hands, while others have words written on the palms or along the fingers. Run away, Get out, Air air, Disappear…. Now and then I place my hand in one of the outlines to see if we have this one thing in common. If, maybe, I too will see all those people someday.
Watch the poet read from this piece at our Issue 28 launch party:
“Happy and furry?” she inquires, of the TV— but I’ve tuned out. Uh-oh, this may be tough to unriddle. When you’re eighty-three,
as she is, with creeping dementia—all sorts of imponderables float by, and everything the more inscrutable
if other faculties are failing too… like hearing, perhaps. A few seconds later, though, we enjoy a breakthrough,
as our breezy, blow-dried commentator re-airs his catchphrase, which I move to clarify by relaying it slowly: “Happy. And. Free.”
… At day’s end, even so, I might prefer happy and furry, as though she might yet retrieve days when all of us were
that peculiar entity, a big family— father, mother, four boys of various ages and stages—become, like any true family,
inhabitants of a lair, wound and bound in a low common smell (our own must of sweat and hair),
that familial furriness which cordons off a small walled area while informing a potentially invasive world, This is us.
Happy and furry. The woman’s five years dead, yet just last week the phrase returned as I, watching a YouTube clip, was shepherded
to an obscure nature site by a tag that posed a teasing test: TRY NOT TO CRY AS MAMA CHIMP MOURNS BABY. The test? Frankly, I’m not sure I passed.
Embarrassed, as if being watched, I felt my eyes prickle as the blinking simian—so loving, so darkly puzzled—stroked and stroked the silky pelt
of a torso strangely limp whose russet fire still burned, though warming neither the dead nor the living.
… Furry, then, if not free. We mishear, misread, we go on misspeaking, and if our errors pain us, soon they disappear
into an unseen, unseeable, ever-amassing crowd. Click here. Click. Now. Always, the furious din out there, and what do our answers count, everything so loud
and larger always than yesterday? We learn to chart our growth by the billion-, trillion-fold: Vaster, faster numbers. See me. Click. Give me your heart,
click. Like me…. So many voices, all seeking, as I suppose both mothers were, the warm, the old, the furred primordial lair.
Brad Leithauser is the author of eighteen books. His nineteenth, The Old Current, a collection of poetry, will be published by Knopf in February 2025. A former theater critic for Time, he is the recipient of a MacArthur Fellowship and a Guggenheim Fellowship.
Born in gilded fealty to the state, which was the people’s will, which was the refined sugar of suffering and indifference, which was the inherited burden of society, gift of the forefathers. Bathed in cream, I transmuted hayricks into silk and mirrors. I ate and destroyed, seeking relief from my depression.
One day he came, handed me a little box, and said look, look inside. Oh God, what a husband, I was afraid maybe he was losing it, another day it had been look, open this package, and there were more than half a dozen bras with ruffles. I opened the little box and was practically blinded by a stone brighter than the sun. No explanation, nothing, business is coming along, he said. And at night, here we go, trying for an heir, but that wasn’t coming along at all.
This month, our online contributors CHRIS JOHN POOLE, JULES FITZ GERALD, and LAURA NAGLE recommend three inventive, deeply human books with stories that traverse two oceans—from Japan, to Mexico, to Norway.
Fernanda Melchor’s This Is Not Miami (trans. Sophie Hughes); recommended by TC Online Contributor Chris John Poole
In her author’s note to This Is Not Miami, Fernanda Melchor writes that “to live in a city is to live among stories.” The city in question is Veracruz, Melchor’s birthplace, a city of cartel violence and political corruption; ritual magic and cold, hard truth. Veracruz’s stories, meanwhile, are those which are gleaned from—and imposed onto—its grim realities.
The stories in This Is Not Miami are crónicas, a genre with no direct equivalent in the Anglophone canon. Crónicas mix reportage and fiction, in a manner akin to gonzo journalism. They favour subjective accounts and firsthand experience over hard data and rigid chronology. Melchor’s crónicas collate rumours, folk myths, and personal narratives, injecting reportage where necessary.